This is one of the funniest things I have ever gotten in my email!!
Debating the War on Terror:
Question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we runaway? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
Texan's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of magazine being ejected and fresh one inserted)
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Daughter: "Nice grouping Daddy!
I don't remember ever laughing as hard at an email as I laughed when I opened this gem! Have a great weekend everybody!
Friday, February 03, 2006
Thursday, January 19, 2006
The Hunt Is On!
I love it here in Texas. I have my balcony door open on January 19. Try doing that in Boston at this time of year! (sorry Trina!) So I’m sitting here online trying to find a job. I’ve been getting a few bites and hopefully it will happen within the next week or so. My wife is not having quite as much success. She’s sent out close to 50 resumes but not even a nibble. Life is going to be interesting if neither one of us gets a job any time soon….
So my Dad called me the other day and left a message that he is going to be in San Antonio in February and wants to get together with me and my wife. I’m not sure if I want to do that. He’s been acting like an ass lately with me and my sister. If he had been anyone else treating my sister that way, he would have caught a serious beat down. Not only is he telling people that I’m a liar, but my sister is mentally unstable and under the influence of some sinister sociopath. There are people that would apply that characterization to him, but that’s a story for another time. My sister is the most normal member of my family – aside from me of course. I’m sure my mother is going to try and get us to get together. Right now I’m leaning towards telling him to save his money and stay in SA.
So my Dad called me the other day and left a message that he is going to be in San Antonio in February and wants to get together with me and my wife. I’m not sure if I want to do that. He’s been acting like an ass lately with me and my sister. If he had been anyone else treating my sister that way, he would have caught a serious beat down. Not only is he telling people that I’m a liar, but my sister is mentally unstable and under the influence of some sinister sociopath. There are people that would apply that characterization to him, but that’s a story for another time. My sister is the most normal member of my family – aside from me of course. I’m sure my mother is going to try and get us to get together. Right now I’m leaning towards telling him to save his money and stay in SA.
Monday, January 16, 2006
Offcially A Texan!
So, here it is another month later and I’m just now getting around to posting. In my defense, I just drove halfway across the country and haven’t had internet access until this past weekend. As some of you may or may not remember, I was planning on moving to Texas at the beginning of this year, so between the Holidays and the move, I’ve been al little occupied and otherwise off the grid. But here I am, connected to the internet and will probably spend many hours online looking for a job. This will afford me lots of time to blog and get reacquainted with some of the people that I was starting to get to know.
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As I mentioned earlier, I just moved to Texas form Boston. My wife and I drove the whole way, stopping in Philadelphia to see friends and my grandmother. I hadn’t seen her in a long time and seeing her again, even though it was a brief visit was great. After leaving Philly, we drove for about 12 hours and stopped in Nashville. We checked out the music scene and the Country Music Hall of Fame and we ate some really good food. (We also spent way too much money!) Those of you that are Country music fans may have heard of a bar there called the Whitehorse Saloon. The night we went, the place was packed because they were holding tryouts for the next season of Nashville Star. I saw some of the contestants there from last season, Erika Jo, Jody Evans and Jason Meadows; but no major country stars.
Then we hit the road again for the last leg of the trip to Texas. Since I drove the whole way to Philly and the second half of the trip to Nashville and the first nine hours of the drive to Texas, I was quite tired. My wife decided she wanted to drive right when we crossed the border into Texas. The next thing I know, we’re pulling over at a rest stop because she was seeing animals - or something - crawling across the hood of the car. AWESOME! We both slept for a couple of hours and she drove a little while longer after we slept but I finally talked her into letting me drive just before we hit Dallas and I drove from there to Austin.
We arrived in Austin January 9th at about 8:00 am and at breakfast and then got lost trying to find our new place and then spent the remainder of the day in the leasing office signing the lease and then unpacking the car and driving around getting lost trying to get necessities for the apartment. Now we’re about halfway setup in terms of furniture and things for the apartment and most importantly, I was finally able to get my wireless router set up. Having said that, I won’t promise to post something everyday but keep checking back and we’ll see.
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As I mentioned earlier, I just moved to Texas form Boston. My wife and I drove the whole way, stopping in Philadelphia to see friends and my grandmother. I hadn’t seen her in a long time and seeing her again, even though it was a brief visit was great. After leaving Philly, we drove for about 12 hours and stopped in Nashville. We checked out the music scene and the Country Music Hall of Fame and we ate some really good food. (We also spent way too much money!) Those of you that are Country music fans may have heard of a bar there called the Whitehorse Saloon. The night we went, the place was packed because they were holding tryouts for the next season of Nashville Star. I saw some of the contestants there from last season, Erika Jo, Jody Evans and Jason Meadows; but no major country stars.
Then we hit the road again for the last leg of the trip to Texas. Since I drove the whole way to Philly and the second half of the trip to Nashville and the first nine hours of the drive to Texas, I was quite tired. My wife decided she wanted to drive right when we crossed the border into Texas. The next thing I know, we’re pulling over at a rest stop because she was seeing animals - or something - crawling across the hood of the car. AWESOME! We both slept for a couple of hours and she drove a little while longer after we slept but I finally talked her into letting me drive just before we hit Dallas and I drove from there to Austin.
We arrived in Austin January 9th at about 8:00 am and at breakfast and then got lost trying to find our new place and then spent the remainder of the day in the leasing office signing the lease and then unpacking the car and driving around getting lost trying to get necessities for the apartment. Now we’re about halfway setup in terms of furniture and things for the apartment and most importantly, I was finally able to get my wireless router set up. Having said that, I won’t promise to post something everyday but keep checking back and we’ll see.
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