Friday, December 16, 2005

Family Business

So, as you all can see I’ve been slacking in the blog department lately. In my defense, I’ve been busy getting ready to move. My wife doesn’t let me sit around on the computer while she’s packing and cleaning. And if I don’t do anything while she’s at work and I’m at home by myself, all hell breaks loose. (Well, not really, but it just makes life easier when I help out)

Enough excuses, it’s been so long that I have all kinds of things to write about. Let’s start with my family. I think I may have alluded to this in previous posts, but I don’t get along with them very well. The latest episode started with the fact that my parents are telling everyone that I didn’t want them at my wedding. Now, before we decided to go to Las Vegas, I asked my dad to perform the ceremony. I told them that the plans changed, but I never specifically said “but we still want you there”. They expressed some concerns about that at which point I said “I apologize for letting you think that I don’t want you there but I do want you there; we want you there.” After that conversation, he said that he would make the arrangements to get to Las Vegas at the appointed time. I never heard a word about it after that and none of them showed. After talking to my sister (we’ll call her T) a few weeks ago, she said that my dad “got the impression that I didn’t want them there”…… WHAT???? How he got that impression I’ll never know. But wait, there’s more: he and my J maintain that I never said that I wanted any of them there. So now it has deteriorated into a he said/she said situation. Good times.
I have another sister (We’ll call her N) that is on the outs with my dad as well. I found out from talking to her that conversations that she has had with our father also get twisted around, so that by the time they get to my mother and T, N’s made out to be the one twisting the conversation and generally just out and out lying - just like I apparently am. Oh well.

Then there’s my mother, who I have generally had a pretty good relationship with all along. The other day, she asked me where we were registered, which led to this exchange:

Me: Why?
Mom: Why do you think?
Me: I don’t know, that’s why I asked
Mom: To by you a wedding gift
Me to myself: That was two months ago!
Me: For what? That was…..(cut off by mom)
Mom: Where are you registered?
Me: I don’t remember
Mom: Are you trying to be mean? Why are you being so mean and nasty? I’ve had a bad day and I’m not dealing with this tonight. Goodbye. ~Click~
Good times!

Now I know that the only reason that she brought it up was because I mentioned it to my sister in a conversation, which pisses me off even more. (telephone, telegraph, tell-a-sister). She knows that I hate being hung up on. I have broken up with girlfriends over that. I have no intention of calling any my father or my mother. If they call me I’ll answer the phone or call them back if they leave a message, but I refuse to call him because he’s is telling everyone that I’m a liar, and I refuse to call her because I think that hanging up on someone is the ultimate in disrespect and I will not beg someone – my mother or anyone else – to talk to me after they show me that little respect. I’m sure some of you out there probably think that my refusal to tell my mother where we were registered was wrong, but if she hadn’t hung up on me, I would have explained to her that after two months with no acknowledgement that I got married, to all of a sudden ask where we were registered – because of my sister no less – is a ridiculous gesture and I would rather she save her money. Is that mean? Nasty? Belligerent? I don’t think that it is, but I welcome your input.

4 comments:

fakies said...

Since I know ALL about psycho family members, I can definitely sympathize. I hate being hung up on, though, I must admit I have been guilty of it myself once. And nothing is worse than having your words twisted to someone else's advantage. In my opinion, life is much too short to spend half of it dealing with toxic people. If they want to grow up and make things right, they know where you live!

mr. schprock said...

I don't know which is worse: being hung up on or being given the finger. And I can't think of anything more frustrating than being misunderstood. I'm hard pressed to find anything wrong with your side of the story. I just hope either of your parents will eventually approach you and you can talk this out rationally.

Bill said...

Being hung up on is one of my 'hot buttons' too Jaxx.

Families... who knows what strange stuff goes on in their heads sometimes.

I've done exactly what you're doing... let them call me... but it usually ends up being harder on me, than on them.

I wish you well my friend, and have a Merry Christmas!!

Chloe said...

Only surly teenagers hang up on people, but you're not alone in the 'crazy family' department. I'm sorry all this aggravation had to happen right before the holidays.